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While he has dated some people through the site—it’s where he met the woman he’s seeing—he is frustrated with the limited ways transgender people are able to identify on the site, “because you don’t fit into these little boxes, or the people you’re interested in don’t fit in neat little boxes.” La Mon wasn't alone in his discontent.

Last year, Yeni Sleidi met a software developer named Asher Snyder who was fed up with what he calls the “Tinderification” of online dating.

In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.

People looking for friendships and pen pal relationships may want to check out these options first.He dates men and women, both transgender and cisgender (a term for people who aren't trans).After La Mon transitioned from female to male, he didn’t change his gender to “male” on his OKCupid profile; instead, he started a second profile where he identified as “male.” He kept the female profile active because he thinks that some women who typically date other women might also be interested in dating transgender men.I half-joked that Jacqueline and I considered starting a dating site for men with E. because there were many women who would love to be their mate.And that’s when this meeting took an interesting turn…First, some back story, before we get to that unexpected twist that happened at the end of my talk.

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